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Showing posts from July, 2024

Stage 1…Denial

 I am not sure I ever denied the fact that my daughter had died, but I did deny that she was going to die.  I felt like I had forever but those 3 years flew by.  But I spent 3 years with more hope than anyone,…which probably contributed to being in some kind of denial that the day would ever come…because I didn’t want her to die.  I always spent a lot of time with her,  I seen her daily and spoke to her and texted her 100 times a day…and when she was really sick I was taking care of two households.  She had moved into her own apartment for the first time in her life.  She was so proud,  We did a ton of DIY’s together to decorate it.  I remember wondering every time I left her apartment or if I was in there when she was in the hospital if she would return.  It made me sick to think about but that was my reality.   At the same time my son was in full blown addiction so most days I had no idea who I would bury first …or if I would lose both of my oldest children.  I carried Narcan in my p